The 3 Stooges - Insincerity, Triteness and just plain Drivel!

Insincere small talk, trite phrases, and even drivel, sprinkle all of our conversational lives at times and mostly without consequence. But in songwriting, place these in your lyric and you’ve got a disaster on your hands.

There are songs I hear from time to time in which a mini-movie rolls through my mind.

Read my article at:
San Diego Chronicle

Songwriting Mistakes: Restating

I’ve had several consultations lately with newer writers whose songs suffer from the same ailment, and as a result I’ve received permission from one of those songwriters to post the beginnings of a song he’s currently writing to illustrate.

Before we talk about that let me make a brief point.

For newer writers it’s important not to become discouraged at the amount of rewriting that needs to be done. Learning to write solid songs is like a funnel. In the beginning you’ll need to rework large sections dealing with the more basic issues of successful songwriting. As you learn and write more, it’s the ever-smaller details that need to be picked apart and polished.

Keep in mind that even for professionals great songs are rarely written, they’re re-written.

The first draft of the song from my benevolent ‘student’ suffers primarily from a lack of moving forward, due in part to not focusing on a specific scenario. Each and every line of your song should move the song forward rather than restate something or merely provide non-descriptive, general information. Many newer writers fall prey to writing their first line then restating that line throughout the majority of the song. Without a specific scenario in your head, it’s difficult.

Successful songwriters, in and out of Nashville, learn to ‘speak’ in a fresh way about the same subjects. How many ways are there to say I miss someone?

     Here are just a few ways it’s been said:
     (think how each approaches the subject differently)

     “Crazy Arms” (Seals/Mooney)
     “Act Naturally” (Russell/Morrison)
     “I Still Miss Someone” (Cash)
     “Hello Walls” (Nelson)
     “I Miss My Mary Tonight” (Ketchum)
     “Loving Her Was Easier” (Kristofferson)
     “I Fall to Pieces” (Howard/Cochran)
     “Half a Man’” (Nelson)
     “Farewell Party” (Williams)
       etc.

How many hits has Alan Jackson written on this one subject?
(again, focus on how each approaches the subject differently)

     “She’s Got the Rhythm” (Jackson/Travis)
     “Here in the Real World” (Jackson/Irwin)
     “Who Says You Can’t Have it All” (Jackson/McBride)
     “Wanted” (Jackson/Craig)
     “Dallas” (Jackson/Stegall)
       etc.

So with that, here are some of the notes I made for the songwriter I mentioned at the beginning of this post regarding the first draft of a song in progress.


Til next time…

Songwriting Mistakes: Mixing Viewpoints

This is probably the most common mistake I’ve seen newer songwriters make.

_______________________________________________
     First, a ‘refresher’…

          · 1st person (I, Me, We, Us)
          Speaks about/to yourself or addresses a singular ‘you’
          in a conversational style

          · 2nd person (You, Yours)
          Speaks to someone either directly (a specific person)
          or to a general ‘you’

          · 3rd person (He, She, Them, They)
          Speaks about someone but not directly to them
_______________________________________________

Mixing the viewpoint within your song can easily confuse the listener. Let me show you what I mean.


Examples:
The most common mistake is shifting from third person perspective in the first verse, to second person perspective in the second verse.


     Incorrect: (from actual songwriter meeting/consultation)


          He’s the real heartbreaker of our little world
          That modern day Romeo of all these small town girls
          Now he’s gone and left me feelin’ blue
          Why did I fall for his game too?

          You brought the pain that’s falling down my cheek


Wait a minute… who’s now being addressed in the second verse? Is this ‘you’ someone new that’s broken the singer’s heart or is she still addressing the ‘he’ in the first verse?

Without making it clear the listener is confused and trying to figure out who the singer is now addressing. Meanwhile, more information is coming at the listener before this question is resolved, causing the listener to possibly miss the new information as they’re trying to decipher who’s being addressed. And missing new information makes them now, totally lost.


     Incorrect: (from actual songwriter meeting/consultation)

                            ‘Laying It On The Line’

          It’s always the same, each night you walk through my dreams
          And my nerves rattle like a guitar string
          She’s a real cutie, in fact she’s a beauty
          So I’ll follow my heart this time
          Cause there’s no prize without laying it on the line


Catch the mistake? In the first line we hear the singer addressing ‘you’. Then the viewpoint is changed in the third line when the reference becomes ‘she’. The third line reads as if the singer is now singing about someone different.


How to Correct:
To keep your song immediately clear and understandable from the singer’s viewpoint you should work to maintain the same viewpoint throughout your lyric by being consistent in your use of pronouns.

Determine from which viewpoint the singer will perform your song. Will the singer be singing about someone, about himself/herself, or to someone? This will determine the use of pronouns for you to consistently use throughout the song.


EXCEPTIONS:
An exception to maintaining the viewpoint is in a bridge, when it’s often advisable to change perspective. It’s possible you’ll even hear a song that defies this rule of maintaining viewpoint/pronouns outside of the bridge. This can be successfully accomplished by altering viewpoints from section to section, yet maintaining those viewpoints within each section. Other times a shift in viewpoint will occur in the chorus. However, most songs maintain a consistent viewpoint and I encourage you to gain more experience before attempting to alter viewpoints within your songs. I mention these exceptions to prevent any confusion when you hear something contrary to what I’ve shown you here.


Til next time… keep writing!

(by the way, examples used by permission!)

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